as we said goodbye
again
in the orange bowl of the tiny kitchen
I touched your tummy
and felt kick
the kid we’d never have
you cried
again
for our lost love
for the music I stole back
for the what-if’s
and maybe’s
I tried to laugh
but failed
again
thinking how I’d known
so many girls
understanding now
that you were a woman

the street still wet from the rain
I drove home
in a borrowed van
feeling the cold
watching litter chasing wind
lights on red
at the corner
under a sky of metal and felt